11/02/2010

Defended by the French......gulp

David Cameron and the French President have signed a historic defence treaty, signalling the closest collaboration ever between the UK and France.


A senior government source has told us (the British people) that, 'working together with France on defence makes good practical sense'.


Give me strength. 


I suspect we'll all need it, if France are going to be defending us.


If it wasn't so serious, it'd be funny.


Here are some very non-PC jokes I found online. Please accept them in the manner in which I write them. Whatever that manner is.



Q: How do you say "Hello" in French?
A: I surrender!

Q. Why don't Master Card and Visa work well in France?
A. They do not know how to say "CHARGE!"

Q: How do you confuse a French Soldier?
A: Give him a rifle and ask him to shoot it.

Q: What's the motto of the US Marine Corps?
A: Semper Fi (Always Faithful)

Q: What's the motto of the French Army?
A: Stop, drop, and run!

Q. How many French soldiers does it take to defend Paris?
A. Don't know, it's never been tried.

Q. How do you introduce yourself in French?
A. "Don't shoot, I give up!"

Q: Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney?
A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.

Q: How can you identify a French Infantryman?
A: Sunburned armpits.

Q: Why do the French call their fighter the *Mirage*?
A: Because it doesn't really exist.

Q. What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?
A. Their army.

Q: What English word has no equivalent in the French language?
A: Gratitude.



If only we still had Mr Churchill.


This is what he had to say.



"We are with Europe, but not of it. We are linked but not comprised. We are associated but not absorbed. And should European statesmen address us and say, 'Shall we speak for thee?', we should reply, 'Nay Sir, for we dwell among our own people'."


And to Charles de Gaulle, he said: "When I have to choose between you and Roosevelt, you should know that I will always choose Roosevelt. And when I have to choose between Europe and the wide open seas... I will always choose the wide open seas."


Go and look at your history, Mr Cameron. Pleeeeeeease.

10 comments:

  1. Hi - I just started following your blog. I found it because I was googling home-schooling blogs. I'm a home-schooling mom from Florida.

    Loved the jokes :)

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  2. Welcome Meredith! The jokes are funny. It's the reality that's more serious :(
    Thanks for following, and please say 'hi' often.
    Love, Anne x

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  3. I need to catch up with what is happening in the world with you all and Europe, but I have to say those jokes really gave me a great chuckle! LOL! We have some french jokes as well.

    Much love sweet Anne!

    ~Elizabeth

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  4. P.S. I loved Winston Churchill's quote! :)

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  5. Dear Homeschool, If you had only to rely on the French, I'd be worried, too. But fear not, we Yanks will be there for you, (albeit whether you want us or not!). And remember, Winston Churchill's mother was a Yank!

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  6. She was indeed, Catie. Hi and welcome...
    I think you'll like this quote:
    "By his father he is English, by his mother he is American, to my mind the blend which makes the perfect man."
    - Mark Twain introducing Churchill, New York City, 1900.

    Like it?!
    Love, Anne x

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  7. LOVE it! And that it is by Mark Twain (another favorite) only sweetens the mix!

    Peace!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh wow, thats just wrong, but funny.

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  9. Oh, my goodness, I needed this laugh today. I think I might have to just re-read these every hour to keep my heart joyous with laughter... I've got to show these to my husband when he gets home. We have had a great victory here in the US, in regards our election yesterday....hurray... but even with that, the spiritual battle seems relentless... thanks for the laugh.
    I am feeling a great deal better now.
    Love Pam

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  10. thanks I needed this laugh tonight.

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