Ever since November 5th, when the rams went on their holidays, I've sat here day after day after day, wondering when my friends would be back.
I mean, how long can any one holiday be? How much fun can any two rams have on a holiday?
Don't I look sad? All alone, no one to talk to.
And then, out of the blue, last Saturday afternoon....they arrive home.
I had a good look at them. Thought they'd lost a bit of weight. Looking a bit peeky, I thought. Tired, I thought.
Clearly, their holiday didn't do them much good. I must tell Big Brother not to let them go on that kind of holiday again. I just know the rams would thank me for it in the long run.
I waited for them to come and speak to me.
An hour passed...
Daddy, why don't they come and say Hello?
Mum....Is there something wrong with me?
All they're doing is eating.
All day long. Munch, munch.
Oh, hang on, Mum. He's coming over...
It's Bruce and he's coming to talk to me!
....Or maybe not...
That's it. I'm no bothering with them any more.
Even I don't eat all day long.
Yes, I know it's because Mum and Dad don't let me. I've heard them saying how fat Labradors can get, and how they'd never refuse food, and how they'd eat all day if they could, and how the vet says owners are always duped by the pathetic, hungry look on their pet Lab's face.
I hate the Vet for saying that. They'd have been totally duped if he hadn't spilled the beans.
Beans? Did someone mention beans? That's food, isn't it?