Heart Issues ....

Catherine gets married next week. Seriously, there ought to be a law against babies getting married.

Okay, so she doesn't look like this now, and apparently she hasn't for quite some time, but in a part of my heart, she will always be this adorable little girl, bald as an egg, in a denim bib-and-brace. 

I am, of course, delighted that Catherine is marrying the man she loves. But she is my girl. I've spent the past twenty years with this beloved daughter under my roof, and her dad and I have adored every minute of these years. And now she's leaving us.

And my heart is awash with mixed feelings. 

I am happy for her. But I want my wee girl in the denim bib-and-brace back. Yes, I love seeing her at this stage of life, and love to see her excitement and joy as she anticipates her forthcoming marriage. But I still have this deep ache in the pit of my heart knowing that this new stage of her life means she is no longer going to be primarily our girl; instead, she will first and foremost be 'John's girl'. 

In the midst of all my emotion, I also realise that everyone else in our family is going to miss Catherine terribly too, and none more than this fella ...

Catherine has been like a second mum to this guy. She has always been Calum's default go-to, and there has been a special bond between them ever since he was born.

 No matter where we all went, Calum always gravitated towards Catherine, and I could have chosen dozens and dozens of photos showing something of that bond.

Catherine never had to be asked to look after Calum. It came naturally. She looked out for him, and was always ready to give a listening ear, always there for him to talk to, always willing to give him time. She was patient when he wanted to learn something; she was kind to him even when the 8-year gap in ages was very apparent; and she was always ready with open arms simply to hug him

And so, as my own heart flips and flops with mixes of feelings, as I keep thinking of (and blanking out) how things are going to be for me - for us - in our new life-without-Catherine phase, I also think of Calum and how he is going to miss his beloved older sister/mammy bheag.

Aye, Calum, I do realise I'm not alone. I'm not alone in the way I feel. Yes, I'm Catherine's mum, but the Builder is her Dad, and you are her adored younger brother.  

This is new territory for us all. Whilst rejoicing at these new providences in our cup, this whole chapter is new territory for us all. 

It is with a fair dollop of trepidation that we walk into this chapter.


  1. Praying for you all! Congratulations to the happy couple as well!


  2. Hope all goes well with the wedding and wishing them health, wealth and happiness. Never easy letting them go.

  3. I know exactly how you feel my friend. Our daughter got married on 7/4/15, and last Wednesday morning the newlyweds left for the state of California . . . nearly 2,000 miles from me. I have cried more tears than I thought a human body could contain. Yes, I am happy for her. But . . . . well, mothers know how hard it is to let go of a piece of you. And that is how I felt as I watched their cars drive out of our driveway last Wednesday . . . as if a piece of my heart had been torn away. So go ahead and cry it out. You will miss her terribly. But God will give you peace, as He has given me peace. Yes, I still miss her, but I am able to carry on. And you and your family will carry on as well. I too would give anything to turn back the clock and have both my kids little again, but that is not how life works. Prayers for you sweet mama. I know the ache in your heart, I know the mixed feelings. But I know the peace that only comes from Jesus.

    1. Oh, thank you ... thank you for understanding, and thank you for these wonderful words. We could do with being able to sit with a cuppa, blether, have a bubble (or two) and have a good long hug.

      Thank you so much for writing this, my dear xx

  4. I had the same situation when my oldest daughter moved out. She had the same relationship with our son who was #5. He would even climb out of his crib when he was younger to sleep with her. He just moved to another state to go to college and moved in with his big sissy, her husband, and their five kids. :) The adjustment will be hard, but, I do think their relationship will be even better as they grow and eventually relate together both as adults. May all go well so that you can enjoy the wedding and look beautiful in all the pictures.

    1. That is really precious to me. Thank you for that lovely comment. xx

  5. Congrats on the wedding. I see I have some catching up to do ok a lot of catching up to do haha. My hubby works in the UK now I was visiting Scotland this past summer :) I really enjoyed it there. I am blogging again if you would like to follow along ~Take Care Heather :)

    1. I'm so behind the times myself, Heather. I'm just seeing this comment now, having been a month without connection since we moved to our new home. Must check out your blog to find out all about your UK/Scotland adventure. I wonder how far north you came?!


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