An Article I Read

Today I read What is a Helpful Practice in Marriage on the blog, Practical Shepherding. The article speaks of how useful it is for couples to speak with those who have been widowed to renew a sense of thankfulness for what they still have. How often we can focus on petty annoyances and cease to see the bigger picture - that of the blessing of still having our spouse with us.

When I'd read the article, my mind went to two people with whom I've spoken this week who have gone through the pain of losing their spouse. Although I spent only a very short time with each of them, one thing was clear in both cases: they will never, ever stop missing their loved one, an they feel the loss as though part of them is now gone.

I spoke to a widow and a widower. Boy, this article is right that they are worth speaking with! The widow was married for over 40 years, and lost her husband last year after a very long, and debilitating illness. She is a shadow of her former self. Even though, in the years before he passed away, he could do almost nothing for himself, and used an electronic device even to 'speak', her grief at actually losing him was humbling. 'I am lost without him', she said (even though he was unable to do so much latterly).

Unlike the woman I met, who'd had a long marriage with her husband, the widower I spoke with was only married 12 years when his wife passed away. That was 26 years ago..... Twenty-six years, and he still can't stop talking about her! How he loved her, and though all this time has passed, his heart still grieves. 

I felt humbled to have met these two Christians (whose spouses were both Christians too). I also felt a renewed thankfulness that God has seen fit to, as yet, make me a wife, not a widow.


  1. Wow, Anne, what wisdom! Thanks for sharing this.

  2. i know what you mean, at one point a few months ago i had three widows in my life...i remember asking the Lord what He was trying to teach me. i have a habit of taking things/people for granted...

    God bless~

  3. Yes, I am thankful to be a wife too and not a widow. Thank you for the prompt. It is a good reminder to always be thankful. God bless you today.

  4. Sweet reminder for us to walk in gratefulness for what we have:)

  5. I have had the same thoughts.I have a friend who lost her husband earlier this year. The depth of her grief shocks me. I know that God gives us the gift of suffering, and it is just that a gift. It is just the one no one wants. I have learned through watching the grief that I must with joy hold everything in my hand with an open palm. I have tried all of these years to give back my children over and over to the Lord, now I see, I must hold every relationship just as loosely. I do know that if God chooses to take my husband home before me, that being the Loving Heavenly Father He is He will give me the grace to endure and will just be as good as a husband to the widow and orphan, as He promises. I think the separation that comes just makes our home going easier.
    My grandpa died and my grandmother, in her grief passed away two weeks later. She couldn't stand the separation. I think of course, it was God being merciful.
    Sorry this is so long, but I think about this and think about this and I admit, my soul does shrink back.
    Great article by the way.


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