"Thank you for your patience. We promise to answer you as soon as possible."
Patience, did you say? Patience?!!
I think not.
Not even a Vivaldi's Season to pass the time. Nothing, but, 'Thank you for your.....'.
When my call was finally answered, I was so busy doing something else, and had become so accustomed to the permanent ringing and repetitive Thank-you-for-... message, that I hadn't a clue what to say to this woman who said,
'Hello, may I help you?'
May I help you?
'Er,' I think to myself, intelligently ...
'Get yourself together, woman,' I think sternly ...
'Sort out your thoughts,' I tell myself, whilst sorting out the papers on my lap.
The least these companies could do is give you some kind of four-minute warning. Something like,
'Thank you for your patience. We know you have now been waiting for 42 minutes, and we realise that your brain will have reached a slumbering stage. Please begin the process of wakening up. We will alert you again in 2 minutes, at which stage you ought to gather together all papers relevant to this call. This will allow some coherence when we do finally persuade our staff to finish their coffee and natter, to come off Facebook, and answer your call. Your cooperation in this matter is greatly appreciated.'