Kindness: It Makes all the Difference

When we were in London, there were a few 'little' instances took place that added so much to our experience in the city.


The first evening we spent in London, we were in Covent Garden heading towards Haagen Dazs, when we were handed a tract by a gentleman on the street. We'd walked quite a few yards before we realised what we'd been given, and after we read it, we headed back to speak to our tract-giver. The gentleman was from Columbia, and barely had any English. I was so moved that this man, with his inability to speak in the language of the country in which he was, was doing all he could for the good of the souls around him, and for God's glory.


No English, but a love for His Saviour and for his fellow-man. I felt privileged to have met him, and to have been able to say a very few words to him.

~      ~      ~

In general, we found the people with whom we came into contact kind and thoughtful. Although we didn't have a lot to do with rail staff, the little we saw was so encouraging. And we did have one amazing experience which still leaves us speechless when we talk about it. (You like that? .... speechless when we talk about it ....!)


Okay, so I'm not quite speechless, but my jaw was almost hitting the floor when it happened.


On our last day in London, we left our luggage in the Left Luggage at Waterloo Station. As you can imagine, the station, and the left luggage office, was jam-packed. We put in our cases and left the station immediately. We then did some sight-seeing. Around lunchtime, the sun decided to peek out and show its face, and when I went for my sunglasses, I couldn't find them anywhere. I knew I'd had them on the train into Waterloo in the morning, and I knew I'd taken them off when I was handing my case in, but I couldn't think what I had done with them. In the end, I bought a cheap pair at Spittafield Market, and used them the rest of the day. (I simply cannot do without sunglasses if there is any sun.)


That was the day we had our visit to Hummingbirds Cake Shop.


And to Churchill's War Rooms.


Late in the day - during rush hour, actually - we thought we'd make our way back to the station, pick up our cases, and head out to London City Airport. Waterloo Station was teeming. Really teeming! We fought our way through the crowds (this is the best of being all of 5 foot zero - there are many routes on the lower level, through which you can battle). We queued in the Left Luggage, and finally gave our tickets to the two members of staff. One went off for the (large, ahem) cases, and when he came back, he took a look at us and asked, 'Did you lose your sunglasses this morning?'.


Gulp. I could not believe it! He had found my glasses, kept them safe, and then remembered the person who'd lost them!


He had seen hundreds of people that day after all!


We were absolutely gobsmacked. Splutteringly gobsmacked....! But there were my sunglasses, sitting on the desk, awaiting my return.


Mr Left Luggage, I do not know your name, but you deserve Employee of the Month.

~     ~     ~

We came across another thoughtful member of staff on the Paris Metro. We had all eaten our (rather rushed) meal, and were heading back to Gare du Nord Station. A waiter recommended the Metro and so we arrived underground with no idea which platform on which we ought to be. I asked a member of staff, and in very broken English, he tried to guide us to the correct platform. We could see he was pointing along the platform on which we were and was then indicating a right turn at some stage.


And so off we went. Down the platform, looking for our right turn - albeit being distracted by our constant blethering! Unbeknown to us, the right-turn was a Y-type, and we walked past it quite unaware that we were heading to Nowhere. Time was of the essence too, and we needed to get back to the Eurostar station jolly quick!


Just then I felt a tap on my shoulder. Here was the Metro worker who'd given me the original instructions. He has seen walk past the entrance, and had run the length of the platform to set us on the right path. This was way above the call of duty, and his kindness allowed us to find the correct train, get to the main station on time, and catch our Eurostar back to London. 


Again, I do not know this fellow's name. He didn't know us, and will never see us again - daft bunch of British tourists, who don't even have basic French (guilty as charged, m'lud). I wish I was able to thank him personally for his efforts.

~      ~      ~

We had talkative fellow passengers, who were helpful and pleasant. We had folks actually come up to us on a platform and asking us where we were looking to go - clearly the gentleman in question had seen the looks of bewilderment! A young man turned back on a stairway to carry my case down a stair, and I saw a number of folks on train carriages ready to help if a lady was struggling with heavy bags.

~      ~       ~

To many, the little occurrences will seem insignificant but they made such a difference to our stay in the city. It certainly taught me too, that 'insignificant' acts of kindness are not insignificant at all. They can make someone else's day! So, let's all take every opportunity we can to Make the Day for someone - even for a stranger who may cross our paths only this once.

London, for all your busy-ness, you are a wonderful city to visit.

Family Kindness

When I wrote in yesterday's post on Kindness, I wrote some thoughts from one of the chapters of the book, Ruth: Her Story for Today. I also said that I'd note down some thoughts that I'd picked up from Mrs Mary Beeke's talk on Family Kindness. Obviously, there is much more that could be said about the kindness we can show outwith the tight family circle, but this talk concentrates only on kindness within our family bonds. 


Mrs Beeke begins by speaking of some of the reasons we can be unkind to those within our family. Briefly, they included:


- Familiarity: It goes without saying that our family members are those with whom we are most familiar, and sometimes, the old adage, 'Familiarity breeds contempt' can be true in terms of our lack of kindness to each other in the home.


- Home is where we 'let our hair down'... and so it should be! But we must not allow being relaxed to slide into slobbiness. 


- Tiredness: when we reach a certain time of the day, our lack of energy can result in us dealing very unkindly with those whom we love.


- Boredom: the 'sameness' of the routine (especially of Mums who are at home all the time) can lead to grumpiness if we allow it.


- Hormones: the queen of all reasons! (Some of us think we are not affected.... just ask other family members!)


So, these are some of the causes of us speaking and dealing unkindly with our families. Remember, they may be causes; they are not excuses.



So, having looked (above) at some of the stumblingblocks to achieving kindness, what are some of the ways in which we can achieve it?


Mrs Beeke has quite a list of areas we ought to look at. Here are some of them:


1. Prayer: we need God's strength. Sometimes our prayers will be 'emergency' prayers - 'God, help me here', but we ought also to make our desire to be kind a matter of consistent prayer.


2. Patience: we become impatient when we have to repeat the same thing again and again to children. But maybe we ought to think of these times as individual 'teaching moments'. After all, how patient is our Heavenly Father with us?


3. Prevent extreme tiredness: if possible, sleep well, eat well and exercise well. Our bodily health can have a great impact on our mental and emotional health and strength.


4. Pardon: we must wipe the slate clean. The truth is that sometimes we are wronged by others. It's also true that we do the wrong sometimes. We must seek to be forgiven, and we must forgive. This is imperative.


5. Ponder and meditate on God's Word: this makes us humble. Sometimes our pride minimises our weaknesses but accentuates the weaknesses of others. If we ponder on God's Word, and think of what our hearts are really like before a holy God, it humbles us and makes us more likely to think highly of others.


6. Appreciate: we ought to count our blessings. If we're fed up or bored with our daily routine, what about 'counting our blessings and naming them one by one'. Go on - try it! We have so very, very much - and when we look at our blessings individually, it's very difficult not to appreciate what we have. (If we don't, we at least feel ashamed at how ungrateful we are.)


7. Praise and encourage: make a conscience effort to show appreciation to each family member for who they are and what they do. Build them up with love and encouragement.


8. Be positive: we ought to look at circumstances 'sunny side up'. We ought to laugh with each other, and at ourselves.... laughter is such good medicine.


9. Pass kindness on: talk of it, insist on it, demonstrate it. We do have to find a balance with our children between allowing them to sort out their own differences (we ought not interfere every time there is the slightest disagreement between them) and not allowing them to treat each other unkindly. We ought to teach them how to get to the bottom of problems and to solve them.


10. Protection: we do our children a great kindness if we protect them as much as is possible for us from pain, from danger and from sin.


11. Pamper yourself: this is related to preventing some of the issues in the first section - we ought not to 'let ourselves go', nor to become so tired and stressed that we put ourselves in danger of blowing a fuse! Prevention is better than cure...


12. Aim for peace: try not to get ruffled at little things. The juice that poured can be wiped; the dish that broke can be replaced; the cereal that spilled can be brushed up.... but unkind words can never be undone. 


In practice then, what are some of the things we can do to make sure that kindness is penetrating each area of home-life:


 - show affection: we ought to express our love in words and with actions


- watch your tone: the tone of our voice can speak volumes - for good or ill.


- greetings: say them out loud! 'Good morning', 'Hiya', 'Good bye', 'See you later'. They don't take too much effort...use them!


- make special times: know your children and your husband; know what makes them tick, and make the effort to do something special for them occasionally.


- be considerate: be in tune with the feelings of others.


- be thoughtful and kind to extended family - remember aunts and uncles. If you are an aunt - especially a single aunt - be kind to nieces and nephews (remember Ruth and Orpah with Naomi in yesterday's post - it seems like it was so easy for Ruth and Orpah to be kind to their mother-in-law, because of how kind she was to them).


- be consistent: we ought to behave at home as we would in public


- we ought also to look at our list of temptations to be unkind: 


do we tend to speak in an unkind tone when we are tired? Maybe we ought to look at changing evening routines: could the children be in bed earlier? are there things we could get done through the day that are too often left until it's too late? 


are we particularly grumpy if we haven't eaten properly (or if we've had no chocolate?!)? 


or if we haven't been outside for a couple of days? Have a reality check. Eat regularly (don't let your sugars get low - just ask me or my family members whether this affects a person's mood). Make sure you see the outside world every so often - the effort of getting out the door is worth it. And when young children are able to burn off steam in a park or on a long walk, the results will be worth every ounce of effort it took to get out in the first place.


Well, these are some of the points Mrs Beeke raised. 


How many of them made you cringe? I don't want to admit how many times I said an 'Ouch!' to myself as she spoke.


Being kind seems so easy. In practice, we are met with many stumbling blocks - the greatest of which is the sin in our own hearts.

Kindness

Our latest chapter in the book, Ruth: Her Story for Today, centered on the verse in Ruth 1 which says:

"And Naomi said unto her two daughters in law, Go, return each to her mother's house: the 

Lord deal kindly with you, as ye have dealt with the dead, and with me." (Ruth 1:8)

The main theme of the chapter is Kindness.


Kindness. Don't you love the sound of that word. I feel a warmth in that word, reflecting, obviously, my understanding of its meaning. Say it slowly. Ki-n-d-n-e-s-s. Ahhhh.


Here in Ruth 1:8, Naomi seems to be wishing for her two daughters-in-law to return to Moab. Of course, this is not what she wanted, but she wished to test them, to see whether they were following her back to Bethlehem, or following the Lord. We know, of course, that Ruth's heart was full of love to the Lord, and this was the love reflected onto her mother-in-law. Sadly, Orpah's heart was still in Moab, and with the idols of this land.


But - back to kindness.


Naomi is giving the young women the opportunity to return home, but even if they do need to part from each other, she wishes their parting to be amicable, and with kind words. She wishes the best for them: "The Lord deal kindly with you". Even when she was going to be far from them, she wished for God's blessing on them.


And so, one of the kindest things we can do for others is to pray for them; to pray for their salvation; to pray for their good; to pray for God's blessing to be poured out on them.


Naomi then acknowledges that they had been kind wives to her sons: "...kindly, ... as ye have dealt with the dead". How glad Ruth and Orpah must have been when their husbands were no longer with them that they had dealt kindly with them whilst they lived.


Surely we must deal kindly with people too. How awful to live with an uneasy conscience after a person has passed away, when it's too late for us to make amends.


Ruth and Orpah had also dealt kindly with Naomi herself. 
It's not always easy to deal kindly with our in-laws, but Naomi acknowledges their kindness to her. Of course, Naomi's dealings with her daughters-in-law may have made it easy for them to be kind to her. If we feel that others are dealing unkindly with us, maybe we should examine ourselves and our dealings with them. 
If we are kind to others, they are much more likely to be kind in return.


I was struck with how powerful an attribute kindness is, and wish I lived more of it out in may daily life. How often an unkind word is spoken, when patience and kindness would be so much more appropriate.

"And be ye kind one to another, ternderhearted, forgiving one another, even as 

God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you" Eph 4: 32

Mrs Mary Beeke, wife of Rev Joel Beeke, gave a talk some time back on Family Kindness. You can listen to it here. For those of you unable to have a listen, tomorrow I'll post on some of her thoughts. (Mrs Beeke has also written a book, The Law of Kindness.)